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Friday, October 08, 2004

John Kerry Delivers Famous "I Have A Plan" Speech

I have a plan that November 2nd this nation will rise up and vote George Bush out of office. I have a plan to make America stronger. I have a plan to fight a smarter, more effective war on terror – and make us safer. I have a plan to win the war on terror, funding homeland security, strengthening our military, cutting our finances, reaching out to the world, again building strong alliances. I have a plan for Iraq. I believe we can be successful. I’m not talking about leaving. I’m talking about winning. I have a plan to do it. He doesn’t. I have a plan to have a summit with all of the allies. I have a better plan for homeland security. I have a better plan to be able to fight the war on terror. I have a plan today.

I have a health care plan that puts you and your families first. I have a plan that will take on the waste and greed in the health care system and save the average family up to $1,000 a year on their premiums. And with our plan – on day one -- every child in America will be covered. I have a plan today. I have a plan that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of my plan shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. I think my plan is better. This is the faith with which I plan for America. With my plan we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With my plan we will be able to transform the jangling discords of the Bush foreign policy into a beautiful symphony of United Nations alliances. With my plan we will be able to work together, to pay taxes together, to marry billionaire widows together, to ignore tyranny together, to take the global test together, knowing that if I am elected we will be free from George W. Bush.

Election day is when all Americans will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the white pilgrim's shame, from every mountainside in American, but not in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, and North Korea, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let people vote for me from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let people vote for me from the mighty mountains of New York. Let people vote for me from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let people vote for me from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let people vote for me from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let people vote for me from beyond the grave! Let people vote for me more than once! Let people vote for me by registering their pets. And especially the foreign leaders who want me to be President, let people vote for me.

When we let people vote for me, when we let them vote twice, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all Americans, black men and white men, Muslims and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and bask in the glory of my plan. I have a plan! I have a plan! My plan is almighty, I have a plan!"

Disclaimer for those who are easily offended: The preceeding speech did not actually take place. The intent of this post is to make light of the fact that John Kerry say's "I have a plan" with the same sort of veracity and conviction as MLK delivering the "I have a Dream" speech. Kerry continually reminds Americans that he has a plan, he just doesn't know what his plan is because he doesn't know what he is going to find when (if) he takes office. That being said I would also like to add that MLK is without question one of the greatest civil rights figures in the history of mankind. MLK was a patriot and a true hero to ALL Americans of ALL colors. This satirical play on MLK's speech is in no way intended to offend, disparage, or make light of the seriousness of what MLK had to say. I believe in MLK's dream, and we have taken many great steps in the right direction. Esoteric * Diatribe does not condone racism, I do not condone racism.

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