Check out this opinion piece on Kerry:
Who will be John Kerry's pick for the second spot on the Democrats' 2004 ticket? Will it be Dick Gephardt? John Edwards? Wesley Clark? Some dark horse?
It hardly matters because the all-but-coronated Democratic presidential nominee already has a running mate. It's Eeyore from the great state of "Gloomy Place" in author A.A. Milne's world of Pooh Corner.
Eeyore's a gray, sawdust-stuffed donkey (perfect for the Democratic Party), and he's every bit as depressed, downcast and dejected about the state of the world as Kerry is these days. Indeed, only gloomy Eeyore the donkey can possibly match the Massachusetts senator inch for inch when it comes to having a long face.
This is no easy feat when Kerry opines on the U.S. economy. He says the economy is moving "backward," and we're in "a wage recession." He blasts the "status quo" Bush administration for creating a "middle-class squeeze." Although he's dropped his "jobless recovery" talk, he still pooh-poohs recent job gains. Not content with the traditional "misery index," Kerry, according to FactCheck.org, "invented a new 'misery index' that makes Bush's economic record look, well, miserable.' " The old index now shows President Bush doing better than any incumbent up for re-election, so it's easy to see why Kerry wanted a new one. But the way Kerry's new misery index is calculated would give Jimmy Carter's economic record -- a record that included high interest rates, high unemployment, high taxes and long gas lines -- a better grade than Ronald Reagan's.